CAPE TOWN - A young doctor has shared how she manages the stress of dealing with Covid-19 at Groote Schuur Hospital.
Suzahn van der Merwe, 28, has been on the front line in the ICU department of the hospital. She has seen many patients lose their lives to the pandemic but has managed to try to stay strong.
“I honestly don’t know if it is possible to truly stay strong during this period. During my first week in Covid-19 ICU, we lost 11 out of the 12 patients in our unit and there wasn’t time to sit and think it through or work through the emotions as we had to prepare for the next admission, as the deceased patient was taken out of the unit,” Van der Merwe said.
“It was terrible to realise that this is the new normal, accepting that lives will be lost and there was only so much we could do. You experience thoughts of ’Am I a bad doctor?’ and how do you approach the third family for the day, having to tell them they are going to lose their loved one. So tears have been spilt and long telephone conversations have been made to my family members in an attempt to stay sane. I ultimately think there is no way of getting out of this without any battle scars,” she said.
Van Der Merwe said there isn't anything that can prepare you for what you experience in the Covid-19 ICU.
“There have been times where I wondered if this is what war must feel like, in terms of the many patients we have lost during this third wave, the long hours all of the health-care professionals are working (doctors, nurses, medical technologists, etc) and the emotional strain of working with patients, giving it your all and then having to lose a patient that you initially thought will pull through,” she added.
“It has been an emotional roller coaster and the protests taking place regarding anti-vaxxers developing into a ’bad-mouthing the hospitals’ campaign has definitely been a smack in the face I think for everyone working tirelessly day in and day out hoping to make a difference in the lives of the patients and their families.”
She works with Covid-19 patients who are critically ill, meaning their lungs require invasive therapy.
She told the Weekend Argus that so many of the patients who were lucky enough to reach ICU (some of them died as they were being intubated) required maximum amounts of oxygen (ie 100%) and even then heath workers battled to help them recover.
Van der Merwe said the first few days after an ICU admission were the worst as you waited anxiously to see if the patient would respond to the treatment.
“I think the toughest part has also been to communicate with the family members of patients, as the family members are not allowed to visit unless at the end of life (as we are trying to protect the families from Covid-19 as well). Trying to explain to the families telephonically how their loved one is doing and the families asking what the prognosis is, is so tough. How do you try to be supportive and empathetic over the telephone, speaking to someone you only know the name of and haven’t ever seen in person?
“But you are also in a catch-22 because you know the day you will finally be able to put a face to the name will be the day when you have to break the worst news to that family member. So having to phone family members and asking them to come in to hospital in the middle of the night and telling them that their 28-year-old son is dying or telling the husband of the wife who has two young children at home that you should take this time to say goodbye, has been the worst experience of my life,” said Van der Merwe.
She said seeing the tears and heartbreak of these family members while they are clinging to the last bit of hope and faith that maybe by some miracle their loved one will pull through has broken her heart.
“I don’t think anyone will be able to truly grasp what it means when we say there are no beds available if you haven’t been in the position to have to tell a referring doctor that your patient is truly ill but unfortunately we don’t have the ability to take over the care of the patient. This being said, this is also something that has frightened me so much that I can’t help myself to think: what if one of my family members or myself is the patient that requires the ICU bed but the resources are at capacity or are depleted?” she said.
Van der Merwe grew up in Kimberley, Northern Cape. Her family taught her what it means to love and care for others and to never accept failure as an outcome, to never give up on her hopes and dreams and to stand up for what she believes in.
“I have a passion for surgery and would hope to one day soon have the opportunity to become part of the surgical registrar programme. I enjoy baking, watching horror movies and playing action hockey (not so much since Covid-19) in my free time.
“Being a doctor is part of who I am and every day I go to work hoping to make a difference in one of the patient’s and their family’s lives. The Covid-19 pandemic has taught me to be thankful for my health and the health and well-being of my loved ones. I truly hope that the rest of the community will continue to be Covid-19-conscious and that we can fight this pandemic together.”
Nursing operational manager in the ICU Sadick Swartz said the staff was dealing with a lot of deaths in the ICU wards.
“Staff are tired with the third wave that is going on for so long. It’s also sad that patients cannot get visitors and we only communicate with families via video calls. Emotionally, it’s not easy for all concerned,” he said.
Weekend Argus