IOL Sport’s Michael Sherman looks at the five reasons marathon runners can be annoying, from their tendency to boast about personal bests and discuss bowel movements to their openness about chafing and showcasing toenail loss as badges of honour. Picture: Google Gemini
Image: Google Gemini
As the Comrades Marathon edges ever closer, if you are a runner – or have spent any amount of time with one – it’s quite likely you’ve found them annoying at some point.
The road runner is a unique beast, and in South Africa even more so.
In this ultra-marathon-mad country of ours, encountering one of these difficult-to-understand creatures is a common occurrence.
But without further ado, here are five reasons marathon runners can be annoying.
At some point or another, a runner will utter the phrase: “Just going for a quick run.”
Now, the run in question can be any distance or duration, and it’s usually anything but quick. It’s a phrase often used when the runner isn’t trying to show off, but somehow achieves exactly the opposite.
How exactly do you know how fast a runner’s personal best (PB) over a certain distance is?
Simple. They will tell you.
Having a conversation about the weather or the latest world conflict? No problem. The runner will somehow find a way to slip that 5km time into the discussion.
It’s well known that running can stimulate bowel movements. Every runner has experienced this at some stage, and many will have no problem sharing these anecdotes with you, often without much prompting at all.
In fact, the longer the race, the more detailed the story tends to become.
A runner will also gladly tell you how badly they’ve chafed in the past.
Whether it’s in the genital region or somewhere else on the body, the hardened runner will happily explain how to prevent this most painful of afflictions, regardless of the topic of conversation that preceded it.
One minute you’re discussing weekend plans; the next, you’re getting a detailed review of anti-chafe creams.
Runners will lose a number of toenails over the course of a career and develop more than their fair share of blisters.
Despite the disgusting nature – and likely odour – associated with such topics, there’s rarely even a hint of embarrassment when subjects like athlete’s foot, black toenails or blister drainage come up.
And yes, these topics have an uncanny ability to find their way into conversation whenever a seasoned runner is involved.
* The views expressed are not necessarily the views of IOL or Independent Media.
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