Love or deception? Safeguarding against romance scams in February

February is traditionally a time when people seek companionship with the hope of finding true love. But while many are searching for genuine relationships, scammers are equally active, preying on emotional vulnerability and the desire for connection. The Southern African Fraud Prevention Service (SAFPS) warns that romance scams spike during this period, with criminals using increasingly sophisticated, tech‑driven tactics to deceive their victims.

Romance scams are no longer obvious. They are highly elaborate, psychologically engineered, and technologically enabled, while romance scams are a reality all year round, scammers actively target and exploit people’s emotions more around Valentine’s Day. We want South Africans to be alert, informed, and protected.

The illusion of connection: How scammers build trust

In today’s hyper‑connected world, social media platforms and dating apps have become mainstream avenues for meeting new people. While these platforms offer convenience, they also create fertile ground for scammers.

Scammers are exceptionally skilled at crafting profiles that mirror the ideal partner: attractive, attentive, similar interests, and emotionally available. They study what people want and then present themselves as the perfect match. Once the initial connection is made, they invest significant time in building a relationship, gaining trust, and emotional intimacy.

This is known as social engineering, in which they use their victims’ behaviour and what they share with the world against them to influence or deceive them.

People underestimate how powerful emotional engineering can be. Scammers don’t just steal money; they steal trust, dignity, and emotional security.

The tactics: How scammers turn connection into exploitation

Romance scammers follow a predictable behavioural cycle:

• They identify emotional vulnerability. Scammers may target individuals who appear lonely, recently divorced, widowed, or isolated. They monitor their online behaviour, comments, likes, and posts to identify potential victims and ways to connect with them. 
• They create emotional dependency. Daily messages, constant compliments, and exaggerated affection are used to accelerate emotional bonding. Victims often feel “chosen,” “seen,” or “understood.”
• They isolate the victim. Scammers subtly discourage victims from confiding in friends or family. They may claim that “others won’t understand” or that “this connection is special.”
• They introduce financial manipulation. Once emotional dependency is established, scammers begin making their requests. These may be small at first, but they can become increasingly urgent and costly. For example, their child is in the hospital or very unwell, and they need money urgently for treatment. They are very good at making the victim believe they are too embarrassed to ask, but that they will be forever in their debt.     
• They disappear once the scam is complete. Victims are left emotionally devastated and financially compromised.

Romance scams are psychological warfare. They are designed to break down defences and exploit human emotion. That’s why awareness is our strongest defence.

Spotting a romance scam

Once trust is established, scammers begin extracting information and resources. Despite their sophistication, romance scams often display key red flags. According to the SAFPS, the most common warning signs include:

• Being evasive and avoiding in‑person meetings - Scammers show intense interest in victims’ lives but avoid answering personal questions or meeting face‑to‑face. They offer excuses for why they cannot talk, video call, or meet in person.
• Unusual interest in personal details - A sudden fascination with birthdays, anniversaries, children’s names, pet names, or other sensitive information should raise concern. With just a few personal details, scammers can commit impersonation fraud, access accounts, reset passwords, or open fraudulent credit lines. 
• Requests for money - Scammers may request money for emergencies, airtime, data, school supplies, medical procedures, or urgent travel. Often claiming they are having issues with their bank or that they have no one else to ask.  
• Offering too‑good‑to‑be‑true investment opportunities - Scammers often promote investment schemes promising returns far higher than those of regulated financial institutions. These schemes are designed to look legitimate, but the returns never materialise, and victims lose their savings and, in many cases, their financial stability. 

These scams are becoming increasingly convincing and can involve a wide variety of tactics. But if something feels off, trust your instincts. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

How you can fight back

There are steps you can take to empower yourself to fight back against romance scams:

• Limit what you share online: Be aware of what information you share online, especially in the public domain. Insights into your life give scammers information about you that could be used to scam you.
• Be sceptical: Be sceptical and verify any unexpected friend, follow, or messaging requests.
• Do not share information: Do not share personal or confidential information with someone you do not know, especially via messaging platforms.
• Don't transfer money: Do not simply agree to pay anyone money or participate in a 'great opportunity or initiative'. 
• Report it: If you have been scammed, please report it immediately to the relevant organisation, platform, and/ or authorities, as well as the Yima reporting function or Yima scams hotline. The SAFPS launched Yima for exactly this reason - to give people the tools for a proactive approach to fraud prevention. The Yima website (www.yima.org.za) hosts a scam prevention toolbox for South Africans to report scams and scan websites for vulnerabilities related to scams. Additionally, consumers can expand their knowledge of how to identify a scam through useful articles and tips.

Protect your heart and your identity

The SAFPS urges the public to remain vigilant. Romance scams are emotionally devastating and financially destructive, but they are preventable with awareness, caution, and the right tools. Trust must be earned, not assumed. Protect your heart, your hard-earned money, and your identity. Stop, think, and don’t get scammed. Don’t become a victim.

* Van Schalkwyk is the CEO of the SAFPS.

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