In a compelling episode of Lungelo KM's “Engineer Your Life” podcast, actor and producer Tumisho Masha candidly shared his thoughts on love, relationships and the personal struggles he faced during his tumultuous marriages.
Masha, known for his prominent roles in popular South African television dramas like “Isidingo” and “Saints and Sinners” among others, embraced vulnerability as he opened up about the complexities of navigating life in the public eye and the challenges that come with it.
The actor was married to the late Angela Masha and later to Zozibini Mtonga. He is now married to Chantel Wagner.
Masha delved into the emotional turmoil he experienced leading up to his divorces.
“I definitely felt like I failed. From the period before we got divorced I was like I’m dealing with this, and I am young and I’m not understanding it.
On the importance of personal growth, Masha shared, “I think sometimes you get very wishy-washy, sometimes you go for counselling ...
“There’s a lot of work you have to do by yourself, a lot of the times we are not willing to do the work on our own, because it is hard, but if you push through the hard, things start getting easier ... We forget that marriage is like anything else that you do well.”
Reflecting on his motivations for marriage Masha commented, “Everyone says I am crazy for doing it so often, but I really believe in the concept of love, and I really believe that as human-beings we are supposed to find that special someone and grew with that person and heal each other through a committed and loving relationship.”
He added: “I was quite sad when Siya and Rachel announced that they getting divorced. I was sad for them, sad for their children and I was sad for the nation as a whole because we looked up to them, of course there are parameters ...
“I sometimes think we break up marriages for much less reasons.”
After going through the divorce, Masha married for the second time. He said, this time around, he had “big plans”.
“I think I had big plans, like doing something bigger than myself, I think that’s what marriage is for a man, you living for someone greater than yourself and I think being in this industry, it is so easy for it to be all about you ... That was my dream.
“I think there could have been a lot of healing for my ex had she stuck around and there could have been a lot of healing for me, I don’t know if I could have fought harder.
“To be honest I stuck it out for as long as I possible could, but sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them too,” he said.
He acknowledged the difficulties of balancing individual goals with the needs of a partner, especially in an industry where fame can overshadow personal connections.
“Being a celebrity certainly did have a contribution, it’s very difficult. I’ve signed up for this. I’m in it, I know how it works, and with my first wife I was on the come up and then I was on ‘Isidingo’ and everybody knew me, and it was a lot of pressure.
“I don’t know if she understood, and it was probably very hard on her.
“At that point I was the leading man, I was the love interest, so I’m going from show to show being someone’s boyfriend and I had to play it so convincingly that when you watch it, you’re like these guys are in love but I understood what I was doing and I think it was very difficult for her.
“Then in my second marriage I was coming of the back of my divorce and it seemed like although I was established I think she didn’t get it.”
Watch the full podcast below.